Square root of Awesome

Have you ever wanted to know what the square root of awesome is?  Well.  It’s Tess.  I love Tess.  Heck, I even like John Tess.  That’s probably not true.  I literally just googled John Tess and google just shut me down by saying, “Did you mean John Tesh?”  Uh, No google.  I didn’t.  I know exactly who I’m talking about.  John Tess is a near and dear friend of mine.  Who happens to look a lot like John Tesh.  But now I need to google what John Tesh looks like.   And you know what?  I lied.  My cousin looks nothing like John Tesh.  Who coincidently looks like the human, and older version of Ken. Ken Kinda right?  Well, if you’re older than 20 you’ll totally see it.  You yougin’s Ken dolls have like, real hair now.  Which I personally do not love.  Also.  Did you ever have your Ken’s head pop off, only to NEVER be able to get it back on?  And or if the little nubby ball thing in Barbie’s neck broke, say goodbye to Barbie’s body because you’ll never get her head to stay back on.  Even if you squish her head all the way down making her look like some prehistoric no neck cave lady.

There’s really no way to smoothly transition back on to topic here.  So I won’t.  Lets just get back to Tess.  (Now I can’t stop thinking about John Tess  Tesh).  We came out to Tess’s hotel and got her and her lovely bridesmaids ready with airbrush makeup, lots of hair spray, and some fun lashes.  I love Tess because she has a dry sense of humor like me, and is unapologetically sarcastic.  Needless to say, it was one of those days where I should have been paying her for the fun we had.  I love that Tess chose dramatic eyes, and partial half updo.  Her hair is so shiny and just did exactly what I told it to.  I can appreciate well behaved hair.  Why is there a pencil in my pretty brushes you ask?  Well, my lovely makeup brush roll smashes my brushes if left to it’s own devices, so that there pencil keeps it from doing so.  Actually.  That pencil has since been replaced by a chop stick.  So very stereotypical of me, but it’s all I had. Listen, I don’t often comment after each picture but I feel like it’s important to explain the carpet tape.  I often have clients ask about ways to keep their dresses up.  And that fashion tape is pretty much a joke, unless your dress is made up of lightweight tissue.  In which case, we have other issues to discuss.  Carpet tape is kind of intense.  It will hold that dress in place indefinitely.  I always warn clients that it WILL HURT coming off.  But you have to decide.  Do you want your husbands Grandpa Joe to see your lady bits or do you want your dress to stay up?  You chose.  Grandpa Joe and Thanksgiving dinner awkwardness beg you to choose wisely.

Photography by Tiny Bird Photography

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